So guess who's back in the damn saddle? You're looking at him.
This blog has always been centric to my struggles surrounding school and specifically the life I lead in Toronto. There's lots that goes on in my hometown that simply never makes it online. I've been busy working my ass off (6 days a week) for the entirety of the summer, and juggling the social life I'm known for...albeit poorly.
Sadly - Skating has fallen by the wayside, parkour even more so. It's not something I took time in the day to do. I still had a tendency to vault railings, or to skate to and from a bus, but I'd be selling myself short if I thought that cut it.
Women came and went. Again. Where's that stability we all strive for? Hell if I know.
But work was getting to me, grinding on me. It's okay, I had some bills to pay and I pushed through it, payed off all the school debt and what not.
One day the boss walked in and said "So when's your last day?", Despite the fact that we'd discussed that my attempts to get into university in British Columbia had fallen short. It seems he'd forgotten. I could tell it would be a struggle for him to keep me on the schedule in any significant way. He asked me what my plans were for September, and to let him know what I was doing.
I walked into his office a moment later and told him I was done. Book me to the end of the month and I'm out of here.
I had a week off, maybe two. My grandfather passed and I went north to spend time with family. I was a pallbearer in his funeral, I miss his smile and his presence heavily.
I decided on a whim to try and get some night classes in at U of T. Phoned the school and quickly discovered there was no "night school" program. I had to enroll like everyone else, and guess what champ? The last day of enrollment is tomorrow, so move your ass.
And move my ass I did. Enrolling and getting into classes that I had absolutely no right slipping into. People had been signed up for courses for a month, how I got into them overnight...I'll never know.
Now I have a minor in film (of sorts) taking my academic life by storm. I chose not to try and get another apartment. There was too much stress and money involved with it, and in many ways I did it before to run away. I think that's the first I've admitted it to myself actually...I moved so that I could run. I had some hurt that was a little too close to home, and I couldn't stand the proximity.
That comes and goes I suppose. I have a new tool of escape. I bought a car. Just a domestic four-banger, but it gets me where I need to be. Sometimes that's just anywhere but where I am.
I'm conflicted now. I really want to get in my car and go very very far away. But I'm not sure it's healthy.
Up to my neck again...Never seems to take TOO long to get here does it?
A friend of mine said "It's only up from here"...maybe they're right. Could do.
Here's my shameless unrelated plug, the other creative endeavor that's been eating my time is called Stealth Geek Unlimited. It's a podcast I throw together with my brother and a friend, give us a listen at;
www.StealthGeekUnlimited.com
Faithful few, who the hell are you?
Friday, September 17, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
...and the doctor screamed "1.21 JIGGA WATTS"
Yack Yack Yack,
I want to talk about everything that's been going on. The problem being the topics at hand are incredibly all consuming and have been discussed by myself to such an extent in real life that I'm tired of thinking about them.
A couple of things briefly,
I'm not as poor as I once was. A few decent paycheques and some government tax money has lessened my overwhelming debt. I'm still talking to my lawyer in regards to the accident I had last year, so there might be some progress there as well.
I barely live at home these day. I'm so caught up in other things, on the run constantly, and I'm wearing myself down.
Death sucks, heartache sucks, work sucks... I keep thinking "I want to go home" but "Home" is some idealistic metaphoric conceptual thing...Must be, because my house isn't really where I'd like to be.
I feel like debbie downer today.
I'll live, please don't feel the need to add pitying, comforting, or supportive comments. I'm not looking for feedback today, just ranting. Letting these fingers go for a stroll and seeing what happens. It's like my head's too full to rationalize my thoughts, all of the excess just leaks and seeps out slowly until I can contain it again. Blah Blah Blah, what you thought you knew yesterday has been subverted today. Your shock at the facts that things are changing and perhaps not for the better, is a silly thing. You know things will never level out for long. You can't always be laid back, as hard as you might try. Sometimes your backs to the wall and your head hurts and every fiber of your being just screams RUN LIKE HELL.
You can't run. Don't have the guts or the money or the will power. Have to make the best of what you have.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do and it's out of your hands.
-Absent Minded Man.
I want to talk about everything that's been going on. The problem being the topics at hand are incredibly all consuming and have been discussed by myself to such an extent in real life that I'm tired of thinking about them.
A couple of things briefly,
I'm not as poor as I once was. A few decent paycheques and some government tax money has lessened my overwhelming debt. I'm still talking to my lawyer in regards to the accident I had last year, so there might be some progress there as well.
I barely live at home these day. I'm so caught up in other things, on the run constantly, and I'm wearing myself down.
Death sucks, heartache sucks, work sucks... I keep thinking "I want to go home" but "Home" is some idealistic metaphoric conceptual thing...Must be, because my house isn't really where I'd like to be.
I feel like debbie downer today.
I'll live, please don't feel the need to add pitying, comforting, or supportive comments. I'm not looking for feedback today, just ranting. Letting these fingers go for a stroll and seeing what happens. It's like my head's too full to rationalize my thoughts, all of the excess just leaks and seeps out slowly until I can contain it again. Blah Blah Blah, what you thought you knew yesterday has been subverted today. Your shock at the facts that things are changing and perhaps not for the better, is a silly thing. You know things will never level out for long. You can't always be laid back, as hard as you might try. Sometimes your backs to the wall and your head hurts and every fiber of your being just screams RUN LIKE HELL.
You can't run. Don't have the guts or the money or the will power. Have to make the best of what you have.
Sometimes there's nothing you can do and it's out of your hands.
-Absent Minded Man.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Bombings
Welcome Back Faithful Few,
As always it's been too long. I get too busy living my life to write about it, or so it seems. Anyways there's some fairly big news on my end, thought I should share.
First things first, my ambitions to go out west have been squashed (though for how long I can't really say) UBC declined my application to their Creative Writing course. My GPA also bites the big one, so I didn't get my back up acceptance to their English course either.
You have to understand that I REALLY disliked the last year I spent at U of T. I was failing in spectacular fashion too, until I thought it through and realized how much it was costing me. So instead of flushing my money down the toilet I decided to buckle down and save my own ass. Which I did. So I was in good standing with U of T, but my GPA was nothing special, to be sure.
SO, it looks like the only university that will take me back is the one I so desperately fled. Somebody upstairs hates me just a little, feels like.
Anyways, if you've been following AMM, you'll have known most of this story. My thoughts are either to do another year at U of T in English so I can up my GPA and transfer out, take summer classes to do the same thing instead of an entire year, or go back but switch subjects entirely. Thoughts or advice folks? I'm as lost as you are.
In other news:
I might be joining the PodCast known as The Stealth Geek. It seems fitting for a guy like me. My brother was a founder of TSG versions 1.0 and 2.0, and this new rendition is will likely go by: The Stealth Geek Unlimited.
I'll let you know if that gets off the ground.
Back to writing for a moment. I have all this short story prep work I did for UBC that now has no outlet. Anyone care to read this stuff? I can post it in pieces, perhaps turn it into an ongoing serial. There's about 30 pages of revised NaNoWriMo work that have become one story, and another related short story that could also be of interest.
Comment and let me know if it interests you.
As many of you know, my life outside the computer often consists of a hectic social life, and a hell of a lot of skateboarding.
Recently I discovered the best outdoor concrete pool in all of Ontario. It's right beside my work and I've been skating every day on lunch. Riding vert transition and bowls/pools is new to me, but it's coming along nicely. I think I'll break out the camera/camcorder soon and shoot some footage. A Shout Out to Vincenzo Pistritto of Pipe Dream Photography for buying me an HD Camcorder. I hope to put it to use soon my friend, and I own you a pint and a few rounds of darts. I haven't forgotten.
Every here that song The Boss is Coming? Well, cue that, I gotta roll.
Thanks Faithful Few
As always it's been too long. I get too busy living my life to write about it, or so it seems. Anyways there's some fairly big news on my end, thought I should share.
First things first, my ambitions to go out west have been squashed (though for how long I can't really say) UBC declined my application to their Creative Writing course. My GPA also bites the big one, so I didn't get my back up acceptance to their English course either.
You have to understand that I REALLY disliked the last year I spent at U of T. I was failing in spectacular fashion too, until I thought it through and realized how much it was costing me. So instead of flushing my money down the toilet I decided to buckle down and save my own ass. Which I did. So I was in good standing with U of T, but my GPA was nothing special, to be sure.
SO, it looks like the only university that will take me back is the one I so desperately fled. Somebody upstairs hates me just a little, feels like.
Anyways, if you've been following AMM, you'll have known most of this story. My thoughts are either to do another year at U of T in English so I can up my GPA and transfer out, take summer classes to do the same thing instead of an entire year, or go back but switch subjects entirely. Thoughts or advice folks? I'm as lost as you are.
In other news:
I might be joining the PodCast known as The Stealth Geek. It seems fitting for a guy like me. My brother was a founder of TSG versions 1.0 and 2.0, and this new rendition is will likely go by: The Stealth Geek Unlimited.
I'll let you know if that gets off the ground.
Back to writing for a moment. I have all this short story prep work I did for UBC that now has no outlet. Anyone care to read this stuff? I can post it in pieces, perhaps turn it into an ongoing serial. There's about 30 pages of revised NaNoWriMo work that have become one story, and another related short story that could also be of interest.
Comment and let me know if it interests you.
As many of you know, my life outside the computer often consists of a hectic social life, and a hell of a lot of skateboarding.
Recently I discovered the best outdoor concrete pool in all of Ontario. It's right beside my work and I've been skating every day on lunch. Riding vert transition and bowls/pools is new to me, but it's coming along nicely. I think I'll break out the camera/camcorder soon and shoot some footage. A Shout Out to Vincenzo Pistritto of Pipe Dream Photography for buying me an HD Camcorder. I hope to put it to use soon my friend, and I own you a pint and a few rounds of darts. I haven't forgotten.
Every here that song The Boss is Coming? Well, cue that, I gotta roll.
Thanks Faithful Few
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Mr. Inconsistencies
Lets play catch up shall we?
So I told you I'd follow up on all those topics I mentioned? Here it goes.
Finding Rage:
No I haven't suddenly gone off the deep-end and found my inner Hulk. I've always thought the line "You wont like me when I'm angry" was pretty bad ass, but I don't think it applies just now. No, what I'm referring to, my faithful friends, is Richard Bachman's Rage. Most of you know by now that I'm a pretty massive Stephen King fan. I'm not sure if I've ever really explained why though. You would assume I enjoy horror right? Fear, macabre, things that go bump in the night? Nope, not really. I don't scare easily, I'm not afraid of the dark, and I don't find Kings books 'Grip me with fear'.
What I like the most about his work, is his uncanny ability to write characters, even if those characters turn out to be really Really REALLY fucked up people. What matters is how believable they are. His use of language is especially intoxicating. All of his characters seem to speak as individuals with their own voices, people you could imagine meeting on the street. It's oh so easy to forget that behind it all is one man, one man with MANY voices, pulling all the strings, creating a story.
Stephen Kings earliest work didn't win him any acclaim, hell they didn't even get published (initially). But eventually he dug out those manuscripts he had, and put them out under the Pseudonym of Richard Bachman. I won't get into WHY he did it, that's a story in and of itself, but they published in fairly small print runs, straight to paperback and didn't make much of a impact in the horror market until it was publicized that Bachman was actually King.
Of the four novels originally published as Bachman, I now own three in first edition paperback. The rarest, most prized, and most valuable of the four is by far Rage I recently found a copy in a used book store for a unspeakably cheap $5. Suffice to say I damn near tripped over myself buying it, and even the clerk commented on how he was surprised that it made it to the shelf. I suppose another co-worker with less knowledge on the subject let it slip through the cracks. Their loss is my gain, and I couldn't be happier.
Mind Games - Rubik's Cubes
Recently I've been intrigued by the oh-so retro Rubik's Cube. I can't really explain why, but I think I have a co-worker to blame. I remember having one as a child and never really getting a handle on it. It got junked I think, mystically finding it's way to the trash or a Goodwill. It's funny how those not so loved childhood toys seem to vanish. Was it our parents that took it upon themselves to weed out the toys we didn't love and toss them? or were we so ruthless as children that we actually ditched these things ourselves?
Anywho, I'm learning how to solve the classic 3x3 Rubik's Cube. I've solved it a few times now after learning how on the wonderful interwebs. Alas I still need to consult a walk through when I get close to the end of solving a cube. Hopefully I can learn the tricks and twists and commit them to memory.
Solving a Rubik's Cube, like juggling, is just one of those things I always wanted to put under my belt.
Oh These Sinking Relation-Ships
You know, this is the subject I felt I had the most to say about. Now that I'm here, I don't know how to get it all out there. I had envisioned something witty and satirical, poignant and perhaps a little bitter.
Recently I've been pretty disenchanted with Relationships. Not love so to speak, but relationships and how they operate. I've been witness to SO many poorly built, carelessly maintained, emotionally stunted relationships, that I was beginning to doubt their validity. In many cases they did seem like sinking ships, being bailed out by one party or the other. While their partners just laid on the bullshit, emotional blackmail, and general douche-baggery.
What I like least I think is how people seem to let their partners ride. I'm all for forgiveness and second chances, miscommunication is of course bound to happen and working through it can be a great learning and connecting experience. But when one person in a relationship feels they can control, manipulate, or otherwise manhandle their partner, then I start to get royally pissed off.
What's worst is that in most cases this only works because of the closeness of the two. Anyone with an outsiders perspective can see these huge glaring problems, the repeated emotional blackmail and jerk moves are often clear to everyone but the only person they need to be.
I've been blessed in my life to have dated only very open minded understanding women, and I plan on keeping that streak alive. I just hate to see really REALLY good people tied down to mediocre if not down right crappy ones. But I suppose even assholes get to date right?
Interlude
The next two categories tie together so I'll keep it short.
If you're still reading this then I applaud you. My blog truly is my minds dumping ground, so if this all interests you, then I'm surprised and glad. I do try and keep it entertaining, but I also know that what I care about is not what others may care about, so it'd be interesting to see what 'hits' and what 'misses'. This is what the comments are for! Help me out and give me some feedback will ya?
Moving right along...
Writers Vacations, Motivations, and Deadlines + Skipping Town
So I applied at UBC, and for those not in the know that's the University of British Columbia. I applied for a Bachelor of Fine Arts with a major in Creative Writing. Where the writing and deadlines come into play is a result of part of the application.
I have to submit a few written pieces along with a cover letter to attempt to get accepted to this very wonderful, very very tiny program. How tiny you ask? Well there are only about fifty students in the course. Apparently each year they receive something like 60-75 applicants and they only take 20 or 25.
Already the odds are stacked against me, my GPA at U of T wasn't all that and a bag of chips. Hell it was hardly even the bag of chips...but if you've been following along you'll know that I've managed to pass 95% of the classes I've taken, so hopefully the fact that I was in "good standing" will carry me off to UBC.
I'll have to write another letter trying to get exempt from a second year course that's a pre-requisite for the degree, but I suppose that if I don't get into the creative writing course first try I could always do a year of English, get the pre-requisite course, and apply again next year. What the hell, it only costs about $17'000 a year to go to school out there, what's one more year?
Hundred Hour Pay Periods
Pretty self explanatory I should hope, we're implementing a new program at work (Microsoft Dynamics, for those who might care) and I've been brought back in as a full timer. On some weeks I even work a heart wrenching 6 days out of 7. The upside to all this work is the big money pay cheques.
I regret to inform that my head has been up my ass however, and I've been spending far too much. Home Work Assignment - Remind me to knock that off alright?
Eat Me Some Sushi
So I've never been terribly adventurous with my food. Oh I'm not against trying new things, I just don't often find new things that I wholly enjoy when it comes to the dinner table.
Recently I was invited out for Sushi with some friends at a place in downtown Toronto called, appropriately enough, Sushi Island. We had a great big all out can eat affair and I scarfed down all kinds of foods I'd never had before. Much to my surprise and overall joy, I really REALLY liked almost everything I tried.
Since then I've been out to have Sushi right here in Pickering, and while it wasn't quite as good, it certainly hit the spot.
Who knew right?
Ah yes, we come to the end. Up for a bonus topic? cause I got one more in me
Bands of Note
So I told you all last time out about my friend Zach's wicked band Savanah? Well they're playing a show this week in Toronto's Kensington Market. The venue is a club called The Boat, and they're playing on Tuesday night. Suffice it to say that I'm stoked, and plan on heading out to hear some of their new material.
In related news one of my other brothers had an opening show on this very night. Family excluded, this dude snags the title of longest standing friend, and one of the very best of the best. I'm referring of course, to one mr. "Down Town, Evan Brown". His band Artifice had their first ever live show in London, and while I couldn't be there to cheer him and his band on, I hope he knows I was there in spirit.
Cheers boys, here's to the many more shows to come.
Lastly I want to say thank God for Vampire Weekend's first album (self titled), it's gotten me through about two weeks of shitty weather and sleep deprived days. A special shout out to my friend Ash for introducing me. If you're a fan of Bedouin Sound Clash and The Shins, then I highly suggest you give this album a spin.
If you can't find the disc, try giving it a listen over on http://www.grooveshark.com
If you're still with me then I want to say Thank You. I write mostly for myself, I'll admit it, but if it wasn't for you then I would never put myself out there like I do here on Absent Minded Man.
Cheers.
So I told you I'd follow up on all those topics I mentioned? Here it goes.
Finding Rage:
No I haven't suddenly gone off the deep-end and found my inner Hulk. I've always thought the line "You wont like me when I'm angry" was pretty bad ass, but I don't think it applies just now. No, what I'm referring to, my faithful friends, is Richard Bachman's Rage. Most of you know by now that I'm a pretty massive Stephen King fan. I'm not sure if I've ever really explained why though. You would assume I enjoy horror right? Fear, macabre, things that go bump in the night? Nope, not really. I don't scare easily, I'm not afraid of the dark, and I don't find Kings books 'Grip me with fear'.
What I like the most about his work, is his uncanny ability to write characters, even if those characters turn out to be really Really REALLY fucked up people. What matters is how believable they are. His use of language is especially intoxicating. All of his characters seem to speak as individuals with their own voices, people you could imagine meeting on the street. It's oh so easy to forget that behind it all is one man, one man with MANY voices, pulling all the strings, creating a story.
Stephen Kings earliest work didn't win him any acclaim, hell they didn't even get published (initially). But eventually he dug out those manuscripts he had, and put them out under the Pseudonym of Richard Bachman. I won't get into WHY he did it, that's a story in and of itself, but they published in fairly small print runs, straight to paperback and didn't make much of a impact in the horror market until it was publicized that Bachman was actually King.
Of the four novels originally published as Bachman, I now own three in first edition paperback. The rarest, most prized, and most valuable of the four is by far Rage I recently found a copy in a used book store for a unspeakably cheap $5. Suffice to say I damn near tripped over myself buying it, and even the clerk commented on how he was surprised that it made it to the shelf. I suppose another co-worker with less knowledge on the subject let it slip through the cracks. Their loss is my gain, and I couldn't be happier.
Mind Games - Rubik's Cubes
Recently I've been intrigued by the oh-so retro Rubik's Cube. I can't really explain why, but I think I have a co-worker to blame. I remember having one as a child and never really getting a handle on it. It got junked I think, mystically finding it's way to the trash or a Goodwill. It's funny how those not so loved childhood toys seem to vanish. Was it our parents that took it upon themselves to weed out the toys we didn't love and toss them? or were we so ruthless as children that we actually ditched these things ourselves?
Anywho, I'm learning how to solve the classic 3x3 Rubik's Cube. I've solved it a few times now after learning how on the wonderful interwebs. Alas I still need to consult a walk through when I get close to the end of solving a cube. Hopefully I can learn the tricks and twists and commit them to memory.
Solving a Rubik's Cube, like juggling, is just one of those things I always wanted to put under my belt.
Oh These Sinking Relation-Ships
You know, this is the subject I felt I had the most to say about. Now that I'm here, I don't know how to get it all out there. I had envisioned something witty and satirical, poignant and perhaps a little bitter.
Recently I've been pretty disenchanted with Relationships. Not love so to speak, but relationships and how they operate. I've been witness to SO many poorly built, carelessly maintained, emotionally stunted relationships, that I was beginning to doubt their validity. In many cases they did seem like sinking ships, being bailed out by one party or the other. While their partners just laid on the bullshit, emotional blackmail, and general douche-baggery.
What I like least I think is how people seem to let their partners ride. I'm all for forgiveness and second chances, miscommunication is of course bound to happen and working through it can be a great learning and connecting experience. But when one person in a relationship feels they can control, manipulate, or otherwise manhandle their partner, then I start to get royally pissed off.
What's worst is that in most cases this only works because of the closeness of the two. Anyone with an outsiders perspective can see these huge glaring problems, the repeated emotional blackmail and jerk moves are often clear to everyone but the only person they need to be.
I've been blessed in my life to have dated only very open minded understanding women, and I plan on keeping that streak alive. I just hate to see really REALLY good people tied down to mediocre if not down right crappy ones. But I suppose even assholes get to date right?
Interlude
The next two categories tie together so I'll keep it short.
If you're still reading this then I applaud you. My blog truly is my minds dumping ground, so if this all interests you, then I'm surprised and glad. I do try and keep it entertaining, but I also know that what I care about is not what others may care about, so it'd be interesting to see what 'hits' and what 'misses'. This is what the comments are for! Help me out and give me some feedback will ya?
Moving right along...
Writers Vacations, Motivations, and Deadlines + Skipping Town
So I applied at UBC, and for those not in the know that's the University of British Columbia. I applied for a Bachelor of Fine Arts with a major in Creative Writing. Where the writing and deadlines come into play is a result of part of the application.
I have to submit a few written pieces along with a cover letter to attempt to get accepted to this very wonderful, very very tiny program. How tiny you ask? Well there are only about fifty students in the course. Apparently each year they receive something like 60-75 applicants and they only take 20 or 25.
Already the odds are stacked against me, my GPA at U of T wasn't all that and a bag of chips. Hell it was hardly even the bag of chips...but if you've been following along you'll know that I've managed to pass 95% of the classes I've taken, so hopefully the fact that I was in "good standing" will carry me off to UBC.
I'll have to write another letter trying to get exempt from a second year course that's a pre-requisite for the degree, but I suppose that if I don't get into the creative writing course first try I could always do a year of English, get the pre-requisite course, and apply again next year. What the hell, it only costs about $17'000 a year to go to school out there, what's one more year?
Hundred Hour Pay Periods
Pretty self explanatory I should hope, we're implementing a new program at work (Microsoft Dynamics, for those who might care) and I've been brought back in as a full timer. On some weeks I even work a heart wrenching 6 days out of 7. The upside to all this work is the big money pay cheques.
I regret to inform that my head has been up my ass however, and I've been spending far too much. Home Work Assignment - Remind me to knock that off alright?
Eat Me Some Sushi
So I've never been terribly adventurous with my food. Oh I'm not against trying new things, I just don't often find new things that I wholly enjoy when it comes to the dinner table.
Recently I was invited out for Sushi with some friends at a place in downtown Toronto called, appropriately enough, Sushi Island. We had a great big all out can eat affair and I scarfed down all kinds of foods I'd never had before. Much to my surprise and overall joy, I really REALLY liked almost everything I tried.
Since then I've been out to have Sushi right here in Pickering, and while it wasn't quite as good, it certainly hit the spot.
Who knew right?
Ah yes, we come to the end. Up for a bonus topic? cause I got one more in me
Bands of Note
So I told you all last time out about my friend Zach's wicked band Savanah? Well they're playing a show this week in Toronto's Kensington Market. The venue is a club called The Boat, and they're playing on Tuesday night. Suffice it to say that I'm stoked, and plan on heading out to hear some of their new material.
In related news one of my other brothers had an opening show on this very night. Family excluded, this dude snags the title of longest standing friend, and one of the very best of the best. I'm referring of course, to one mr. "Down Town, Evan Brown". His band Artifice had their first ever live show in London, and while I couldn't be there to cheer him and his band on, I hope he knows I was there in spirit.
Cheers boys, here's to the many more shows to come.
Lastly I want to say thank God for Vampire Weekend's first album (self titled), it's gotten me through about two weeks of shitty weather and sleep deprived days. A special shout out to my friend Ash for introducing me. If you're a fan of Bedouin Sound Clash and The Shins, then I highly suggest you give this album a spin.
If you can't find the disc, try giving it a listen over on http://www.grooveshark.com
If you're still with me then I want to say Thank You. I write mostly for myself, I'll admit it, but if it wasn't for you then I would never put myself out there like I do here on Absent Minded Man.
Cheers.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Tired On Time.
For once in my life I'm tired on time.
This means once I crawl into bed, read for a half hour or so, I'll be lined up to get five maybe six hours of sleep. Not too shabby compared to my normal three.
This isn't so much a new post talking about the things I want discuss as it is a reminder to myself. I have things on my mind I don't want to forget to talk about so here's the shopping list:
Finding Rage
Mind Games - Rubix Cubes
Oh The Sinking Relation-Ships
Writers Vacations, Motivations, and Deadlines
Skipping Town
Hundred Hour Pay Periods
Eat Me Some Sushi
I'll get to these, keep looking back.
Thanks FF
This means once I crawl into bed, read for a half hour or so, I'll be lined up to get five maybe six hours of sleep. Not too shabby compared to my normal three.
This isn't so much a new post talking about the things I want discuss as it is a reminder to myself. I have things on my mind I don't want to forget to talk about so here's the shopping list:
Finding Rage
Mind Games - Rubix Cubes
Oh The Sinking Relation-Ships
Writers Vacations, Motivations, and Deadlines
Skipping Town
Hundred Hour Pay Periods
Eat Me Some Sushi
I'll get to these, keep looking back.
Thanks FF
Friday, January 22, 2010
Misty days, caught in the rain.
First things first faithful few
Misty <-- Open in new tab to hear awesome while you read.
If you haven't yet, go listen to this track, it's A) fucking awesome, and B) hopefully a taste of what is to come.
It's my brothers band, they reunited not too long ago and are talking about doing some recordings (EP, LP, not sure yet)
He used to play this in my living room all the time and his vocals soared. We had thin walls and I could hear this throughout my entire tiny place. This is the soundtrack to the best memories I have in my apartment in Toronto. I hear this, on a sunny day, and I miss it so much it almost hurts.
I want to go skating, I want to go filming, I want to strap gloves to my hands, throw a board under my feet and duck and weave my way through an unsuspecting pedestrian population. I want to tuck and bomb hills, screaming past cyclists and cars. Do you have any idea how fast it feels to be moving 40 or 50 Kph when you're standing on a piece of wood attached to wheels?
I want to do Parkour, to sprint into a world of concrete with a shit eating grin and take it by force. To move with ease up and over stone walls and railings, to free fall and roll and never lose momentum. Heart racing and entirely calm in my mind.
I want the weather to change, the scenery to change, and the city to be my home. I want to be moving at a million miles an hour.
I want to be in school...I want to meet new people. Sitting on my ass in Pickering is not my aspiration.
All of these things I want, but I have to live up to my name and go after them. The weather will change without me, the longboarding and Parkour will come with ease. Progress will not come without time and effort though. The school and city living will take more work, but it's not impossible. This is the nexus in which I stand. What do I have to do to make it all align again, to get it back, to make it better than it ever was?
I'm serious that when ever I find myself still, and my mind starts to drift, I picture myself sprinting. I never know what I'm running from, or where I'm running to, but I recognize it's a internal cry for freedom. Stop sitting on your ass my body screams,
GO DO SOMETHING.
Internally I'm all a jumble, but things are sorting themselves out. One wake up call after another and you start to make progress.
Misty <-- Open in new tab to hear awesome while you read.
If you haven't yet, go listen to this track, it's A) fucking awesome, and B) hopefully a taste of what is to come.
It's my brothers band, they reunited not too long ago and are talking about doing some recordings (EP, LP, not sure yet)
He used to play this in my living room all the time and his vocals soared. We had thin walls and I could hear this throughout my entire tiny place. This is the soundtrack to the best memories I have in my apartment in Toronto. I hear this, on a sunny day, and I miss it so much it almost hurts.
I want to go skating, I want to go filming, I want to strap gloves to my hands, throw a board under my feet and duck and weave my way through an unsuspecting pedestrian population. I want to tuck and bomb hills, screaming past cyclists and cars. Do you have any idea how fast it feels to be moving 40 or 50 Kph when you're standing on a piece of wood attached to wheels?
I want to do Parkour, to sprint into a world of concrete with a shit eating grin and take it by force. To move with ease up and over stone walls and railings, to free fall and roll and never lose momentum. Heart racing and entirely calm in my mind.
I want the weather to change, the scenery to change, and the city to be my home. I want to be moving at a million miles an hour.
I want to be in school...I want to meet new people. Sitting on my ass in Pickering is not my aspiration.
All of these things I want, but I have to live up to my name and go after them. The weather will change without me, the longboarding and Parkour will come with ease. Progress will not come without time and effort though. The school and city living will take more work, but it's not impossible. This is the nexus in which I stand. What do I have to do to make it all align again, to get it back, to make it better than it ever was?
I'm serious that when ever I find myself still, and my mind starts to drift, I picture myself sprinting. I never know what I'm running from, or where I'm running to, but I recognize it's a internal cry for freedom. Stop sitting on your ass my body screams,
GO DO SOMETHING.
Internally I'm all a jumble, but things are sorting themselves out. One wake up call after another and you start to make progress.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
One more time to kill the pain.
Sometimes you need wake up calls from those close to you. Those insightful few who can see through the bullshit and call it like it is. To those of you that can, to those of you that do, and to you faithful few...
I give you, Tom Petty's - Last Dance with Mary Jane.
I give you, Tom Petty's - Last Dance with Mary Jane.
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